Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
