i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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