I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
