just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize