i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
