my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
