That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
