ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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