I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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