Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
