Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
