I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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