she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
