just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
