Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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