can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
