sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize