You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
