Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
