Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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