she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
