Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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