Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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