We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
