New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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