He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
