RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
