Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
