it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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