Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
