The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
