There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
