i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize