would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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