3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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