we're chasing vodka with high fives
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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