She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
