I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
