the condom got lost in my hair
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
