What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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