you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
