Will you blow on my dice?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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