Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
