do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
