That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
