so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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