I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize