i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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