I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We talked him into tasing himself.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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