I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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