I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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