If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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