I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
All I want is dick and wine.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize