We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
