My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize