Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
