I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
