When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's always time for handjobs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
